Guilty Secrets
by ttiiggeerr
Summary: Edward is posing under a fake name and Bella is as well! When love intrests Fifi and Shawn come into the picture, what will happen to the already crumbling relationship between Bella and Edward? Filled with love triangles, drama, and suspense! Currently undergoing serious extensive rewriting construction. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there lovelies! I know it's been awhile since I've written something for Twilight BUT I've decided that I needed to remedy that. **

**If you rememeber Guilty Secrets from a few years ago, congratulations! If not, then that's fine. In all honesty I forgot about it too. I put it up for adoption a few months after starting it for lack of ideas and my bestie adopted it. Which was a good thing because she posted it and never did anything with it-ironically for lack of ideas. So she put it back up for adoption and I have now readopted it! So it went from creator to friend back to creator. **

**Now, I wrote this several years ago, therefore I was very young. As in, there wasn't much description, I overused commas in the wrong places and didn't put any where they needed to be, etc. It was just overall shitty. The content and story line has extreme potential but the grammar and the presentation was terrible. **

**Therefore, it is with great happiness that I can say this story is now currently undergoing what I like to call: SERIOUSLY EXTENSIVE REWRITING CONSTRUCTION.**

* * *

_The Journal of Bella Swan:_

_Sometimes life is good. It usually is good. But it wasn't good for him. He had to live life terribly hard. It's given him nothing but trouble. I joined him so he would have something good in his life. I hope it's enough. It had better be enough._

_Guilty Secrets._

Chapter 1:

_He's late again._

"Shawn, hurry up!" He strutted out, looking like he usually did. Black pants, halfway down his ass showing off bright yellow boxers, amber t-shirt, and a black jean jacket. To compliment his clothing style, his eyes had the biggest, purple bags I've ever seen. His combat boots were untied. _Typical._

I had woken up late too, but I had at least done something productive…I did one entire load of laundry before running out the door.

"Hey sis! I see you're wearing my cargo pants again."

"Yeah, sorry about that," I said as I started the car. I clearly wasn't sorry, as this was a regular occurance and he knew that it would keep happening. Not that it mattered much-after all, he did have a bad habit of stealing my shirts.

"As long as I get them back washed, I don't care."

"'Kay." The accelerater was applied and we started off towards the mall. Why? Because every day Shawn would go to the mall to tutor other kids for five dollars per person, per subject. It helped pay the bills and Shawn enjoyed helping other people out. When he got out of the car I drove to McDonald's for lunch and went in to eat.

As I finished my lunch I decided to stay since I knew Shawn would get a ride home from his best student, Sally. Besides, I was in no hurry and I wanted to think about the dream that caused me to get very little sleep in peace. Maybe if I figured out what it meant I would finally get some rest at night. Especially since all of my dreams came true at some point. Or at least partially true.

I remembered a forest, a dense one at that, and I remember sounds. The sound of bug thats were fleeing for their life, and the sound of their frantic retreat that soon died away to silence. It was a silence that sent chills down your spine and had goosepimples crawling up your arms. Then a twig snapped, or was it a leaf crunching? Either way I jumped into the nearest tree, onto the nearest branch…ten feet off the ground. It had seemed effortless, as if it was more of a subconscious reaction than anything.

I had looked toward the sound that had shattered the deadly silence and saw a man halfway hidden behind an oak tree.

I recognized him immediately, of course. Whenever I was cooking or doing some other random chore I'd see the same man outside my window and I'd talk to him. It was as if he was able to hear me, and I knew that was the case. The weird thing was that I wasn't afraid of him. And when I started seeing him, the threats to me and Shawn came less and less. We were down to three to four a week versus seventy or more.

As much as I tried, I could only recall a great longing to be on the ground, and a protectiveness I've only felt for Shawn. Not even my own parents were able to coax that feeling out of me. The only thing I've felt about them in my life is hatred and a sense of satisfaction when they finally died. My emotions baffled me and my reactions confused me.

The main reasons I hated them so much was because they spent all the money everyone around them had. They began dealing drugs when I was seven, becoming druggies when I was ten, alcoholics when I was eleven, and being sex addicts by the time I was eleven and a half. They continuously called Shawn and I mistakes, which we grew accustomed to. They also had many people that wished them and anything around them dead. All the people who lent them money, that is. The rest of the town was either neutral, or felt very sorry for us. Even now their fear carried over; therefore, we received no help from anyone around us.

I finally pulled myself to the present, checked my cheap cell for the time, and left.

When I pulled into the driveway, slightly late, I saw Shawn pacing back and forth in the garage.

"Shawn?" No answer. "Shawn, why are you pacing like a caged tiger?" He finally stopped and looked at me with a hint of fear in his eyes.

"Because there's a rep coming to interview me for the university in Washington."

I furrowed my brow, and quickly reformed my face into that of a calm one. I was confused but I figured it was because of a stranger coming on such short notice. That and knowing we didn't have enough money to send him to college without a full scholarship and a free ride. He never wanted to let me down because I apparently meant a lot to him.

"I don't want to leave you."

"But I'll be coming with you. Trust me; I'll take care of everything for you. All you have to do is answer her questions and I'll take care of the rest. Now go clean up the house while I take a shower and get dressed."

He ran ahead of me, and I quickly showered so my hair could dry before anyone showed up at our front door.

* * *

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	2. Chapter 2

_The Diary of Edward Cullen_

_What am I thinking? She's bound to know that someone's watching her, following her...protecting her. But why doesn't she call the police? It's not like humans to know that someone's following them and to do…nothing. Not that the police would catch me. The only person who could do that is her. And she's already seen me._

_I wish I could introduce myself._

_I wish I could tell her._

_But I can't._

_Guilty Secrets._

Chapter 2

When I came out of the bathroom, I thought I heard angels singing. I had _never_ seen our house this clean.

"Sis, seriously, get your jaw off the floor, and start dinner. I would but you know I can't cook." Shawn was totally covered in dust, and I couldn't help but smirk as I got out the ingredients I would need. It was just too amusing for me to see Shawn covered in dust and grime for once. He was usually the one that would go out and be the academic between the two of us and I was always the one that was more street smart.

Dinner was about halfway finished when the doorbell rang out loud and clear throughout the entire house. I stopped measuring out some thyme and looked at Shawn. I nodded in encouragement and he went to open the door. To my ultimate embarrassment, Shawn led a pretty woman of medium height and weight into the kitchen and introduced us. I made up for the fact that I was busy by smiling and looking like I would merrily laugh at any moment-which was not going to happen if my emotions had to be genuine. I was still kinda miffed at having an unexpected guest, but I knew I needed to be kind and gracious if Shawn wanted to get into this university.

I finished making dinner as she went to freshen up, glad that Shawn had done our guest bathroom as well as everything else while I was in the shower.

I set the table as I thought Grace to myself, and I knew Shawn was doing the same. We didn't want to prolong the visit, so we were taking as many shortcuts as possible. Besides, it wouldn't do to offend the one person who could get Shawn into any type of school after high school with a full ride.

Ms. Spenwick, the rep, was very quiet as she ate, and I decided to talk to Shawn about his day. Apparently, it went on as normal as a day could get. The subject then turned to me, to my utter disappointment. I didn't want this lady to know too much about either one of us-if she did then she might put two and two together and not give Shawn the same chance he has now. The longer she was unaware of our past the better.

"I ate lunch, and thought about some things."

"The usual?"

"Yeah." _Great job at making thrilling conversation, Bella. Great job._

After dinner I put all the dishes into the dishwasher and went to rescue Shawn from being victim of severe awkwardness. When I walked into the living room I found them silently waiting for me. I sat down by Shawn and took his hand. He squeezed. Hard.

"My job was to come here to get Shawn into our school. The administration told me to skip my usual job of interviewing to meeting some goals. We want Shawn with us as soon as possible and we are willing to meet any requirements your position poses." She had a brisk voice, clear and businesslike. It clearly said 'no nonsense'.

"All we want is to stay together so you'll have to get us a home. And you might want to get him a tutor so he can finish high school sooner. I'd like a job, but you'll have to support Shawn and I until I can get us back on our feet. It might not be obvious, but we aren't even making middle class income. I can't come up with enough money to get us there unless we want to starve half to death." I inwardly shuddered at how dire our position really was and felt the sadness from Shawn as he realized just how bad we really had it. On the outside, we sat tall and dignified; still proud even in the harshest of times.

"That won't be a problem. Just give me a moment so I can make a few calls and get everything situated and finalized back with the principal." She walked into another room and I could hear her typing away, probably texting. I turned to Shawn.

"Are you fixed on cutting off my blood circulation?" My voice was low as I hissed my question.

"Oh, sorry. I was just nervous." _That makes two of us._

Ms. Spenwick came in then, and told us that she'd have everything we'd need mailed to us, and that they'd get in touch as soon as they knew that we'd gotten a house for us to live in. I thanked her for all that she had helped us with as Shawn showed her to the door.

The next morning, I woke up to knocking on the door.

"Coming!" I threw a robe on and ran to the door. The UPS man was on the other side of the threshold and said that I had to sign for a package. I did and sent him on his way with a cheerful smile.

I walked into the dining room with the small parcel. Shawn's eyes questioned me and I shrugged. When I opened it, I froze. Inside the package were two tickets to Washington, a few hundred dollars in cash, and a piece of paper that said 'prepaid.' Next to that was an address and detailed instructions on how to get there including road names, milage, landmarks and even coordinates. I looked at Shawn and told him to pack light. Then I called our neighbor and asked her if she could sell anything left in the house and to send the profits to the address we were given. She gladly agreed and said she'd tackle the task tomorrow morning. I always knew I liked her.

As we packed our bags, we continued to grin. We were finally leaving the final reminder of our parents behind us for good. We were going to Washington.

* * *

After our plane landed, we set off towards the given address. Washington was beautiful. We walked for miles before anyone could point us in the right direction. And we _still_ had another five miles ahead of us. But I can't complain, we chose to walk. Riding in a taxi was tiring and we did pack light after all. Both of us had managed to find only what we needed which we could easily fit into a backpack each. It was easy traveling-besides, it was better than sitting all day.

I spotted at the turnoff and we walked another four or five miles before we reached an absolutely gorgeous house.

House. More like a castle. The whole thing was built like a magnificent house, but it looked big enough to hold the whole town. Half the roof was even covered in glass. Eventually I came up with the word 'manor' and I knew that that's exactly what I was looking at. A manor.

All too soon the spell was broken. I heard a noise behind us that just didn't belong in the woods. I put my bag down and moved, or rather stalked, toward the noise's origin. I didn't find anything but I still wanted to get into the manor. And soon.

We both took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.

_The Diary of Bella Swan_

_I knew he was following me. I often talked to him through the open windows. So what if he didn't talk back? I knew he was there, and that was enough for me. I'd never seen him, but I knew he was there. I just knew. If I imagined him, then fine. But compared to the real thing, my imagination wasn't very accurate or creative. To make up for that, I could guess things about him that no one else would ever understand._

_So I figured out the ultimate secret about him._

_And I felt sorry for him._

_Guilty Secrets._


	3. Chapter 3

The door opened, and I froze. It was him.

He was the one I'd talk to outside my windows, late at night. He was the one I'd speak to in my vast gardens and when I was cooking. He was the one that never spoke, yet I knew that he could hear me.

"You must be the Francheska's. Please, come in. The school told me that you were coming. It's too bad my family left a few weeks ago; they would have loved to have guests." As he talked, he led us into his home. I had to mentally slap myself to realize that I didn't introduce either of us.

"I'm Fifi, and this is my brother, Shawn."

"Well, it's very nice to meet you two. My parents left for their summer home in Italy, and my sister and brother-in-law went to France for a few months, leaving me here all by my lonesome." He led us through a dinning room, kitchen, den, sitting room, parlor, and a living room. I noticed that in almost every room there was a pull bell and a wrought iron staircase.

When we came to the main staircase, I could only stare. This house had _everything._ It was wide, and made of white marble streaked through tastefully with black. The middle was lined with a red velvet carpet all the way up.

"The second floor is offices on the right, any of which you can use except for the one closest to the stairs; that one's mine. The left is nothing but a library. The second floor is where the spiraling staircases lead to." We came to another staircase that was just as magnificent as the first one had been. We walked up.

"This floor has all of our suites, mine being the one at the end of the hall. You can take your pick of the others." I let Shawn take first pick, and he picked the one closest to the stairs.

None of the rooms appealed to me until I got to the one closest to _his; _and absolutely loved it. Even though I knew I should keep my distance from him, I picked it. I plopped my suitcase down on the freshly made bed, and washed up. When I was done with that I went to the library.

* * *

Maybe it was karma, or just a coincidence, but after I had been there only a few minutes, _he_ walked in. It didn't matter that I wasn't anywhere near the door, and that I wasn't facing it. I _felt_ him walk in.

"I'm terribly sorry. I didn't introduce myself to you. I'm Devin McNeilis. You're brother said you'd be in here if you weren't in your room."

"Oh."

"You look preoccupied. I can leave…"

"And watch me from the woods?" The look on his face was priceless. "Yeah, I know that was you. I'm not stupid. I saw your hair, your eyes. You really should learn how to use camouflage." He seemed intrigued, but I didn't say anything else. I had said too much already.

He eyed me, almost like a doctor would. But a doctor that _wasn't _immune to curves and boobs.

"Put on a swimsuit and follow me." My eyes held a lot of questions, but I didn't voice them. I did what I was told, and he led me through his room to the roof. I was too focused on his back and the way he walked to notice anything about his suite.

When we got to his destination I spotted a hot tub. I shook my head in disbelief, and smiled in spite of myself. Before I could tear my eyes away from the beautifully carved black marble, I felt his hands on my waist lifting me up and into the water. After a moment, he followed.

I was surprised at how cold I had gotten, and felt myself sink lower into the hot water. It felt really good. And I mean _really_good.

"You look like you've never even dreamed of any type of luxury. Why?"

"I learned." His gentle, but firm, eyes watched me, probing me for answers. I knew I would eventually crack, so I decided to tell him before he could find any weaknesses. When I was done explaining, half an hour had passed.

"Is it even _possible_ for you to relax?"

"I am relaxed."

"Then why are your muscles wound as tight as an old grandfather clock? You're safe with me, I promise." I wanted to believe him, I really did. But my heart and body wouldn't let me.

"I can't believe you." I saw him about to protest, but I held up a hand to stop him. "It's not a matter of _won't_but _can't._" His eyes were full of unasked questions, so I continued. "When my parents started forming their habits, that's all they cared about. It took up all of their time up and they never cared about me and Shawn, so people began to realize that they could take advantage of the two of us.

"Eventually the worst gang in the state caught up with my parents. They found out about us and went in search of my brother. I found them ready to beat him to smithereens, but I…convinced…them not to." His jaw dropped, the surprise evident in both his posture and expression.

"Did you…"

"They abused me verbally, physically, and…" I paused. I'd never told anyone this, not even Shawn. But I needed to tell _someone._ "and sexually." That was the smallest I'd ever heard my voice sound, and never had so much emotion come out of it. That scared me worse than anything.

His face filled with so much compassion and sympathy, I had to look down. When I saw the tear hit the water, I looked up. I watched the mental conflict going on inside of Devin's head, until a decision was made. He cautiously came to me, and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

And for the first time in nineteen years, I relaxed. He felt the change, as I let my body rest against his. After a time, I tentatively hugged him back, and it felt good. We stayed like that for awhile, until he mumbled something under his breath.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that." He paused, like I wasn't supposed to hear anything and in response, I pulled away to look at him. His face was impassible.

But his eyes…

Those eyes told me everything I'd ever need to know that the rest of his face and posture wouldn't tell me. My breathing was silent, but speeding. I was so lost in his eyes, I didn't realize he'd noticed my accelerated breathing.

"Are you okay?" I forced myself to breath normally.

"Yeah. It's nothing." _As if his eyes could be nothing!_ I looked out to the woods, and heard the sound that I had heard previously that day. It didn't belong in the woods.

Going on pure instinct, I ducked below the surface and slowed my heartbeat down to the slowest it has ever gone. I wasn't sure how I knew there was danger, but I did. _And why did I hiss? I'm not a cat! _ Devin's legs left the water, and I stayed under.

I stayed there as long as my lungs would allow and gently broke the surface. My sensitive hearing picked up a conversation going on. It sounded like Devin didn't like the person at the door. I listened closer and as soon as I started making out words, the wind made tiny ripples in the water. I froze, and I knew that Devin had too.

"You're rooming with snacks?" I took a deep breath and ducked back underwater before I could pick up any more of the conversation. I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't going to let myself spoil my good mood. Devin returned shortly, and I broke the surface cautiously, taking my time.

"Why was I called a snack?" He instantly went stiff.

"I'd rather you didn't know."

"Okay." We soaked in silence while my hair dried in the light breeze.

"Your hair is getting all frizzy."

"I know. But I don't care." The corners of his mouth lifted up a little bit, but I wanted them to become an actual smile. I shook my head at myself, fustrated with my thoughts, which seemed to frustrate him.

"Why are you shaking your head?"

"No reason. I had an errant thought, and I dismissed it as soon as I thought it."

"Oh. He looked away, but I saw him grin. He glanced over his shoulder at me, and I found out that it was possible to lose all sense of thought and speech at the same time.

Undiluted happiness spread through me, and it made me giggle. And then I couldn't stop, which caused him to laugh. When our liungs finally caught a break, we just gazed at each other. After awhile he started glancing to another part of my arms and face. When he spotted my wrists, he paused.

"What made your wrists swell like this?"

"Color guard. I used to be the instructor for the high school. I miss it."

"Oh." He fell silent once more.

I sat there, remembering how the kids used to love me. They'd help me come up with a routine, and I'd teach it to them. Then I'd get to watch them when they preformed, and how it warmed my heart. I missed it a lot.

Then my thoughts went down a darker path. Who was at the door? What wasn't Devin telling me? And another thought that defiantly needed an answer. Pronto.

What was Devin McNeilis? He was obviously _something,_ and I was determined to find out. An hour later, I was showered, dressed, and making dinner. I had insisted that I cook, since I could tell that Devin wouldn't be much of a help.

When dinner was over, both boys complimented my cooking, and at least I knew that Shawn was telling the truth.

Later that night, a lady came to give Shawn the information on his tutoring and such. She gave us the paperwork and left. _Great._

* * *

"They did invent a dishwasher."

"We were born with hands for a reason."

"Good answer."

"Point one for Francheska."

Devin helped me dry and put the dishes away, and I washed them. He told me to come to the library after I got ready for bed. Apparently he had the perfect book for me to read. I agreed.

After another ten minutes, he told me that if I needed to use a car, just to take a set of keys from the bowl that was on the counter.

"Thanks!"

"Go do whatever you girls do before bed and come to the library so I can give you the book."

"Okay." I blew a bunch of bubbles in his face before leaving.

_Devin McNeilis's Diary_

_I faked my death. I did it to protect my mother. And if Fifi ever found out, she'd stop at nothing to find out why and everything else. In the process, she'd find out what I've done. She just can't leave well enough alone. So I'm going to tell her. And I'm going to tell her why._

_I just hope she learns quickly._

_Guilty Secrets._


	4. Chapter 4

I walked into the library expecting that he wasn't going to be there. I was wrong.

He was there, sitting on a chair, reading a novel of some sort. I walked around his chair and went to read some titles of older looking books. I heard him get up and walk to the other end of the room. I stayed where I was.

After a few moments, he came back, and stood behind me. I turned around just enough so I could see his face. He was just so _close. _A minute or two later, he held up a book that looked more ancient than Father Time. I tentatively took it, afraid it would crumble to dust at any given moment.

"Read this, and you should understand. It will tell you just what my biggest secret is. I know you've been wondering who I could possibly be, simply because you're very intuitive and curious. This book holds the answer to a secret that very few people are in on." He gave me a lopsided smile, and I had to smile back.

"Thank you." With that, I walked out of the room, fearful that if I had stayed a minute more, we would have burst into flames.

"What were you doing in there with him?"

"Shawn! Do you ever let your presence known before you ask absurd things?"

"So, nothing happened?"

"No. and even if it had, it would've been my choice and none of your business."

"Oh. Sorry, I…"

"We all make mistakes." I went up to my room then, and tried to read-but I was just too exhausted. I fell asleep after chapter one.

* * *

I woke up slowly, loving the feel of the silk sheets against my bare skin, but I managed to get up and dressed before going downstairs and starting to make doughnuts.

"Do you ever take a break?"

"Fuzzberries! What are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?" He instantly went rigid.

"No, I'm sorry. I just wanted an answer to my question."

"No, I don't take breaks. That leads to problems down the road."

"Do you want help?"

"I'm done, actually." I put Shawn's share on a plastic platter, took it up, and left it in front of his door for whenever he decided to wake. I went back down to the kitchen where Devin was sitting quietly.

"Do you _ever _get bored?"

"Not really, no. Is your brother going to go to school today?"

"If I get the paperwork done in time. What are _you_ going to do today?"

'I'm going…hiking."

"Really? Can I come?"

"Uh, no! You should stay here and do whatever. Just stay out of the woods until further notice. Don't worry about me." I cocked an eyebrow. "Not today. Later."

"Okay." I eyed him as I walked up to my room. Shawn met me on the way down and thanked me for breakfast.

I filled out me part of the paperwork and put the rest on the table in front of Shawn before I traveled up to my room to read. I was halfway done with the tomb when I heard Shawn's heavy footfalls speeding up the stairs. I sighed and got up.

"FIFI! _FIFI!_" I opened the door, and Shawn fell on his face.

"Are you done trying to knock down the door?"

"The papers are done, lets _go!" _He paused. "Please?" I nodded my approval and grabbed a set of keys on my way out.

When I clicked the right button, lights to a huge Hummer flashed. I sighed in disgust. I really could have gone for a Ford F-150 right now. I drove Shawn to school, and returned to the house.

I grabbed a few blankets and the book, and went outside. The day was surprisingly sunny, and soon I could no longer concentrate on the words I was supposed to be reading; I longed for my flags.

So I marked my page and got all the my equiptment. When I put down the last flag, I heard that disconcerting noise, the one that didn't belong in the woods, but was there nonetheless. My eyes keenly searched the shadows, but I caught nothing out of the ordinary.

The CD started over again, and I continued to do the routine I had made up and memorized just before we moved. Halfway through the fifth CD round, it started to drizzle, so I packed it all up, and took it inside to dry.

As I laid out all of the wet flags on the garage floor so they could air dry and not wrinkle, I heard a diesel engine.

Shawn was home.

I ran towards him, and he picked me up and spun me around several times before finally setting me down.

"Shawn, how was school?"

"Great! The kids absolutely love me. I'm finally popular, and during AP calculus, we had a code red drill. So we put up a sign that said 'ha ha go away!' The cop laughed when he saw it."

"That's great Shawn! Come inside, I'll make cookies."

"And cupcakes?"

"And cupcakes."

_Devin McNeilis's Diary_

_They were harassing her. Stalking her, too. What else could I have done? I warned them more than once to leave her alone. So, I forced them to go away. She should really get that book finished. She can't want to live in a house with one of my kind._

_She can't._

_It wouldn't be normal._

_But can I let her go?_

_Guilty Secrets._

* * *

**Hi lovelies! It's been forever, I know but I lost-temporarily misplaced-my laptop! It's here now though, so I'm able to actually work on this-I know, it's shocking!**

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	5. Chapter 5

I stalked around in the woods for hours, trying to find a decent animal to hunt. Nothing appealed to me, so I ran north. There, I settled on a mountain lion and headed back home, disappointed in my less-than-satisfactory meal. I got a few smaller animals-mostly bucks-about halfway back just to be on the safe side. I didn't need to take chances with that wonderfully appetizing human living with me.

The sun that the weatherman predicted beat me back to my home. Mental curses strung their way through my mind, all pointed to me for being a stupid, careless person because now I had to wait until twilight to go back inside just to make sure neither one of the two living with me wouldn't see my skin. And so I stood, letting the self-inflicted curses and insults run their course as watched Fifi perform her colorguard routine effortlessly, fluidly, and perfectly.

She had told me that it was the one thing she loved to do, and here I could see in. In the perfect grace that followed her, the way her entire body moved as if making love to the fake riffle she had taped. In the wonderful timing when the down beat hit at the same time the flag pole hit her hand both the music and her movements flowing into the next set of beats and rhythms effortlessly.

As I watched, I smelled something. Matheu was here. And I was NOT happy at what his intentions were.

He was in his hunter's crouch, ready to attack at any moment, watching her with a sure and practiced eye. He never heard me approach. _Stupid mistake. I told you years ago that your lack of attention to your surroundings would get you killed. Looks like I was right._

I crept up behind him, and he still didn't hear me.

"Hey Matheu." As he hissed, he died.

I was fed up with him anyway. He wouldn't leave, reguardless of my warnings earlier, so I made him. Now he can't bother anyone ever again. Problem solved. Well, one of them, at least.

I looked back towards Fifi. She had noticed something, but dismissed it rather quickly for a human and especially for her. For once I was glad that she didn't pay any more attention to the forest and the things that resided in them. Normally I would have been scolding her for not investigating earlier or for running inside to find me. But she wasn't aware of what was out there. She wasn't aware of what could hunt her. She wasn't in the loop and she didn't know about anything of who or what I really am.

Completely clueless as to my inner ramblings she continued from where she left off, completely captivating me with her movements. All too soon, it started to rain, and she quickly gathered up her stuff.

I waited until dark to go back inside. I didn't want to chance getting caught out in the last strangling rays of the sun. _Maybe another day, another time._

When I go hiking with Fifi, I'll tell her.

_Fifi Francheska's Diary:_

_Shawn didn't need to know. He shouldn't have to. This doesn't involve him. And I shouldn't have to. He's not the superstitious type. He believes in science and Jesus. He shouldn't have to change his beliefs._

_I've got to fake my own death for his sake. I have to. There's no other way._

_Either way, I lose half of my heart._

_Can I do what I feel I have to do in order to save half my heart and him?_

_Guilty secrets._


	6. Chapter 6

I finished putting out my flags to dry in the garage and headed for the kitchen. Shawn was already there, basically all but bouncing straight through the ceiling. I started the cookies.

"Don't forget the peppermint!"

"I know Shawn. It's a principal of the thing…"

"Like two plus two equals four!"

"Yeah. I won't forget anything, this recipe is ingrained in my mind. I've only been making it since you were a toddler." I let my sarcasm flow without guilt-he knew my sense of humor better than anyone I would ever know. Watching him as I stirred the batter I could tell he was having an issue with his homework and I looked over his shoulder, my arms still holding the bowl and stirring. "It's seventy-two dear. You're adding and not subtracting." A look of sudden realization came across his face.

"Thanks!"

After a few moments of silence, I heard the door slam. _Crap, Devin's back. now I'm bound to screw up the recipe. For sure._

"Fifi, why are there wet flags in the garage?" His face looked confused and his voice trailed up and down through his vocals as if he were confused but there wasn't any genuine curiosity behind the question as if he already knew the answer.

"I used them and they got wet so they're drying to prevent them from getting moldy. I can't put them in the dryer or they'll shrink." I answered only for show. Firstly because I didn't want Shawn to think something was up and secondly because I wasn't sure I knew just how much I wanted Devin to know I knew.

"Oh. Makes sense. Need some help?" I looked at him in surprise… and noticed his absolutely abyssmal attire. He was full of mud and dirt and in some places what looked like bugs as if he had been riding a motorcycle through clouds of gnats.

"Not until you're clean and properly dressed."

"Wha-oh. I'll be back." He disappeared to the upper floors quickly, as if he screwed something up. Like he had a set routine when hiking and had messed up for the first time in years. I dismissed the thought, banishing it to the back of my mind until later when I could inspect it closer unobserved.

When the baked goods were done I went upstairs to fetch Devin, my mind firmly set. A dinner meeting was in order.

I got up to his doorway, and suddenly hatched an extremely clever idea to avoid having to argue out getting him to come down to join us. I wasn't going to argue and I wasn't taking no for an answer.

I didn't knock calmly like any sane person; I pounded on the door like a druggie on meth. In other words, hard. And then I just walked right on in.

"Hey! Get your lazy ass downstairs!" I walked out, being sure to slam the door behind me. Hard. Hard enough to make his window rattle, that's for sure.

My brilliant brain-child worked because he reappeared in the kitchen right after the last plate was set on the table. It got him down here, but it didn't stop him from having an irritated countanace.

"Yeah?"

"What do you want for dinner?" I made extra special care to sugar coat my voice to the point of being almost sickly sweet-a posion designed to be detected but only just after the drinker had started drinking. It rendered them helpless to stop even if they wanted to.

"You were set on tearing the door off it's hinges just to find out what I wanted for dinner?" He smirked. "You're unbelievable."

"Thank you. Now answer the question cowboy." The nickname came from nowhere and I was unexplicably proud of the blush that never came. It stayed firmly in my mind and made no physical appearance.

"I'll just have a small piece of pizza." I raised my eyebrows, but didn't bother to question him. He was a big boy, he could decide what he was going to deprive his body of food or not. I already had to try to make Shawn consume things in reasonable portions, I didn't need to take on trying to get someone else to eat more while making my charge eat less.

I got out the ingredients and even let Devin toss the dough. Although, I had to show him how to do it and it took him several tries to get the hang of it-somewhat.

An hour later Shawn was silently saying Grace while Devin and I waited respectfully. After he looked up the we dug in. Or, Shawn and I dug in. Devin kind of picked at his dinner, claiming an upset stomach.

* * *

When the dishes were done, I went to take a shower. I then proceeded into the library to finish the book Devin had given me. After five more chapters, the lender silently joined me. We read on in silence.

Before I knew it, the story was over. Devin had left already, leaving so silently and gracefully that I never noticed. Out of curiosity I looked at the clock. Two A.M…oops. But at least he won't be bugging me about finishing the tomb anymore.

I sat, thinking until six and only then did I have an inkling of what Devin McNeilis was.

And he wasn't human.

_Devin McNeilis's Diary_

_Why doesn't she just take Shawn and run? Is she nuts? Suicidal? What can possibly make her chose the choice that she did? She finished the book, I've explained her choices, and she's still here._

_What's going on inside her head?_

_Why won't she save herself, and in saving herself save her own brother?_

_Guilty Secrets._


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning I decided to go outside to listen to the birds sing. I honestly didn't expect to run into her this time, so I was slightly taken aback when I saw her right where I wanted to be.

The picture she made was one of such beauty, that not even a thousand words could even begin to describe it.

She was wearing a white flowing dress with a high waist emphasized by the light blue belt of color and had one of those straps that went around her neck to hold it up. Her feet were bare and I saw that her entire body was as pale as her face. There wasn't one single tan line, but I did notice several scars along her, randomly glinting in my heightened eyesight. They tempted me to ask as to how she got them but I dispelled the question as soon as it formed. I needed no reason to be more drawn into her life and she needed no more to think she could trust me. She could never trust me as long as her sweet blood flowed and pulsed through her veins. As long as her heart beat that warm juice through her body keeping her wonderfully warm...I shook my head to erase the thoughts flowing through my mind. The last thing I needed was to blow my cover by showing her was I was in the process of killing her. I had to divert my thoughts to those of cold, lifeless beings and old, wrinkly men. My thirst as well as my arousal dissipated almost instantly and I trusted myself to look back at her.

As she swung gently on the wooden swing under the maple tree, I felt a surge of compassion for her. I hated what I had to do, but she had finished the book and I needed to keep the promise to myself. When I told her to take the book and read it I had told myself, leaving no loopholes, that I must tell her everything whether she figured it out or not. As I watched her the night before, I could tell that she knew now what I was and the danger I posed. But why she would look so tempting and delectable-even to a human-was beyond me.

Her hair, honey-brown and wavy, swung and caught the sunlight as she looked towards me. I dimly noticed that it it would reach the waistband of her jeans if she had been wearing any. I hadn't noticed before because I had always been to wrapped up in my own thoughts and it was always pulled up in that infernal bun. Now that I noticed, it took my breath away.

"Did you need something?" Her voice even sounded sweeter today.

"Did you finish?" My voice was husky, raw with my indecision to keep her for my selfishness and my yearning to push her away to keep her safe.

"Yes I did, actually. At two in the morning. I also think I figured it out." She let gravity and the light breeze push her as she didn't put her bare feet back upon the ground.

"So? Aren't you going to tell me? That _was _a part of the deal." I waited calmly for her answer, unsure whether she'd say anything or not. She sat in silence for so long, with me standing in the same spot for the entirety of her quietness, I wondered if she was trying to ignore me.

"How old are you? Not for the cover, but really." The suddenness and unexpected topic startled the answer out of me before I could edit the words coming out of my mouth.

"One hundred and seventy-two." Here she looked at me with her large eyes, seemingly staring into my soul-or what was left of it, if any existed anymore.

"You're a vampire." Her voice didn't shake as I expected it to, but was as steady as if she was talking to her brother about the weather. She was full of surprises and I wasn't sure it was safe to admit it to myself, but that was one of the things I liked about her that wasn't physical. Oh sure some things overlapped physically and mentally-like her attire this morning. She dressed this way on purpose, and although I was surprised by the blatent disreguard for her own safety there had to be something going on inside her head that made her put that dress on. The mental reasoning surprised me just as much as the actual dress had. I used to love surprises as a human, and it appeared I still did. It was just a lot harder to scare me now that I had all of my extra senses and physical abilities. All of this passed through my mind so quickly she never noticed any hesitation on the outside.

"Yes, but I didn't chose this-_you, _however, do have a choice. But enough of this. What's on your agenda today?"

"Just telling you that I know what you are."

"Tell me, do you like speed?" I couldn't control the excitement I had quite as well as I had liked and her eyes lit up.

"Of course!"

"Then get on my back." This sentence was just as hard to control the tone that went with it, but I managed a little better. She hesitated at first, but jumped on anyway. And then I ran.

And I held nothing back. It felt good to run with someone who knew-even if they didn't know everything. Even if they couldn't run with me but had to ride on my back. Even if I had to hurt them by tearing their live apart, it felt good. And though I felt bad about the last part, I still let the joy of being in the moment flow over and through me.

I stopped, a little too hard for a normal person's inertia, but she handled it just fine.

Her laughter, that peeled like bells, died down. I was surprised that my head could feel so relaxed from the silence that only she could give me. If I was going to be honest with myself, I would say that the silence was a little more than unnerving. But, then again, my life was just one big, huge lie that would unnerve any normal human. It would occured to me that she was making me feel human again, even though i knew I was not.

She dropped to the ground, disreguarding her bare feet, and turned to face me.

"I'm not afraid, you know." I nodded in response, looking for any type of fear or hatred. I was buying time by nodding, taking longer than usual to try and find some type of misgiving in her being. There was only kindness and determination. "Are we just going to stand here all day, or what?"

"Follow me." I mentally cursed myself for sounding so harsh when I wanted to be gentle. I overcompensated that by taking her hand, and leading her to the lake.

A beautiful place for a beautiful girl to learn the ugly truth about an ugly monster.

_Devin McNeilis's Diary_

_I'll admit I'm panicking. She knows that I know that she knows the truth about me, and still she does not run. I've got to find her. I felt the change in the air. The mood is somewhat…smug, and it changed in an instant._

_She's not afraid._

_But I am._

_Guilty Secrets._


	8. Chapter 8

I heard the sound of water, and I followed it, only dimly aware that must be where Devin meant to lead me in the first place. It didn't take long to see the beautiful lake, and the stream that fed it.

In an instant I felt him behind me, watching for my reaction. I knew he wanted to tell me something, so I waited for him to speak first. I liked keeping him on his toes, even if it tested my own patience slightly.

After at least five minutes, he finally moved. I could feel his hand stir the air as he went to put it on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to tell you this, but the problem comes down to this: either I tell you or you die." It wasn't something I expected so I waited for him to continue rather than to voice my curiosity. "My job isn't easy. Actually, nothing in my life is easy. Even existing is hard for me.

"When I was sent to visit a family friend, it was dark. I never saw it coming." He paused and I remained still and silent lest I rouse him and he thinks better about telling me whatever ails his peace and posions his mind.

"All I remember is acute pain, and then, nothing.

"The next thing I remember is waking up to hear what I had turned into. I tried to find others but I had no luck until almost one hundred and fifty years later.

"She knew what we were and begged for us to change her. We had no choice, she already knew. It was either to change her or to kill her and none of us wanted to turn killer to someone that seemed so earnest in getting what she wanted.

"Eventually we found a couple trying to get away from their campsite with cheetahs following them. The only way to save them was by turning them." I couldn't handle it anymore and had to voice my thoughts.

"What does this have to do with me?" I was slightly upset with myself for needing to voice my thoughts in the middle of his story but I pushed it aside for now as he turned me to look into my eyes seriously. He wasn't joking around with this and I knew that if he was dead serious then it must have everything to do with me.

"There is a species that we don't know that much about. But what we do know is extraordinary.

"There are certain humans that aren't even human. They reach a certain point in their lives that changes something in them. They get heightened senses, and can react much faster.

"I was told to go looking for one, so I did. I've been looking for years; and then I found you.

"I watched you, and I recognized some of the signs. I soon learned that you'd be coming here, so I made sure that the school let you room with me."

"So, what does this have to do with me?" I asked again, too shocked to come up with another sentence to find out if what I was assuming was true.

"I'm sure you can guess." And I had. I just hoped that I was wrong.

"I have guessed, but I want you to tell me." My eyes stared straight at his, almost through them to his mind. I knew the answer before he said it.

"You are one of these special humans." My mind went blank and it took me a minute or two to recover. "You now have a choice. You can decide to change into one of us, or you can remain human. But here's a warning; if you remain human, you'll be in a lot of danger."

"Wait, _change _into one of you?"

"Your body is battling itself. Half of you is human, the other half is vampire. Each half is trying to win, but only your willpower will determine which side comes out victorious. If you don't chose, your body will have fight itself until you die." I stood there for a long time wondering if this was a bizarre dream or if I was truly going insane.

Or maybe it was real.

"Fifi?"

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

"I…don't know. I'll be back in a few minutes." I jumped and started climbing a nearby oak tree without waiting for a response. He'd just have to be patient.

I jumped from tree to tree, trying to get away form the new information that clouded my mind.

I didn't succeed.

What I did succeed in was getting myself hopelessly lost. Well, crap. Smart move, Fifi. No one for miles will be able to hear you now.

I decided to try something that I've never done on purpose, but I knew that I could do it if I wanted to. Back home, I could calm animals, soothe them, just by thinking about calm things. Maybe if I thought about the way home, I could get there.

No dice.

So I did the first thing that felt natural. I reached out with my mind until I found something completely alien to me. I knew that it didn't belong in the woods, but it felt familiar. I slithered my way into this other being and decided to give it a shot. I kind of knew who it was, but one could never be too sure.

**_Devin?_**

**_Fifi?_**

**_Yeah, dipstick. Who else could I be?_**

**_But…I….you…that's…._**

**_Quite babbling and come get me! I took a wrong turn somewhere and now I'm lost._**

I pulled out of his mind, to find that I was more in tune with my instincts and senses than ever before. I refused to think about what had just happened to me. It was just too fucking weird.

A short time later he found me and ran us both back home.

The entire time I stayed on the edge of his thoughts and listened; he didn't know I was there.

_Devin McNeilis's Diary_

_I don't know what I'm going to do about this. She knows. She reads minds. She's telepathic. And she has much more in store for her._

_What do I do?_

_Guilty Secrets._


	9. Chapter 9

I looked at the clock, and was astonished to see that it was only six in the morning. I gathered up my body, beign sure to get rid of my bored look, and went to make Shawn pancakes for breakfast.

He came down about two minutes later, just as I had put the batter on the pan, with a confused look on his face.

"What's wrong with Devin?" His voice was thuroughly confused-completely baffled, but about what I wasn't sure.

"I don't know. Why?"

"He just sulked upstairs looking like he'd just been hit by a semi. He didn't even say hi, or look at me when I bumped into him." I gave him a disapproving look. "It wasn't on purpose. I never saw him coming!"

"Hm…well I don't know, but how would you like some breakfast before school?"

"Cool!" He practically inhaled his food, plate and all.

When I became uncomfortable with Shawn's gaze on my back, the bus pulled in. Shawn got up, and left for school. Who knew that I'd be thankful for the timing of a school bus?

A short while later, Devin came back down the stairs.

"You don't have to make up your mind until your twentieth birthday."

"That's helpful." My voice was layered thick with sarcasm. My mind was panicking.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that my birthday is August seventeenth."

"That can't be. Last year, you and Shawn celebrated on December twentieth." His voice was thick with emotions like an old wise man would after being told something that not even he could have predicted-or contradict now that it had come to pass.

"My true birthday is my own business. My parents never really kept track. I found my birth certificate when I was younger, and was pretty upset that they had never even bothered to remember when my birthday was. I never told Shawn the truth, because I didn't want him to know. That is my concern, not his."

"Well that puts a damper on my schedule. I figured we had more time." He looked like the time had just condensed from a few months to much less-which it really had. But as far as I was concerned, he had no real reason to be that shocked by it. If anything, I was the only one that was allowed to be that shocked.

"No shit Sherlock. It just so happened to be July twenty-fourth! I've got twenty-four days to choose before I die! Way to do your research numbnuts!"

_Shawn Francheska's Diary_

_I'm getting pretty serious about the girl I'm dating. Her name is Mary, and I think I love her. I can't be sure, but apparently it's evident to my friend Max._

_I just hope Fifi forgives me for keeping secrets._

_I hope she approves._

_I hope I make the right choice._

_Guilty Secrets._


	10. Chapter 10

"Way to make a man feel guilty." She blushed. "But you _are _right, nonetheless. I should have done my job better." I hung my head in shame. I felt ansolutely terrible about giving her less than month to make up her mind. _That worked out _real _well, didn't it?_

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Her hand reached out to my forearm, but never quite touched my skin. "It was wrong of me to accuse you. I've just got a lot on my mind right now." I raised my head.

"It's okay, I understand." And boy did I understand a lot going on in your head all at once. I was a master at worrying about more than ten things at a time almost twenty-four seven. When I looked up I saw her sapphire eyes piercing into mine. They seemed desperate, almost. Like she needed something desperately but couldn't obtain it.

"What do you think I should do? If you were in my place, what would you choose?" I couldn't believe that she trusted me, that she would ask me for advice.

"I don't know. It's a hard choice, one that I didn't have. And you even have less than a month to decide. I'm sorry, so very sorry."

"Don't be." Her hand touched my arm and applied pressure, lots of it. Enough for me to easily feel how much effort she put into the touch. Her eyes held mine, dazzling me.

I felt a strand of hair fall onto my face, and her other hand moved.

She pushed the runaway strand of hair back into place, and I felt her fingers linger on my cheek. I shivered, and not because her fingers were getting colder by the second.

She must have seen me shiver and was immediately concerned.

"Are you okay?" I didn't say anything, I just sat there, battling the urge to hug her, hold her.

That battle was fought in vain.

I took her hand off of my arm, and pulled her to me. She relaxed, much as she had in the hot tub, but much quicker this time. We stayed like that for the longest of times, neither of us moving. Then the alarm on my watch went off.

Damn! Didn't I turn that stupid thing off?

Apparently not.

I checked the time, and discovered that we were there for almost five hours.

"We should get back…"

She quickly agreed upon discovering the time, and hopped onto my back without prompting this time. Five minutes later, we were on the porch. Before Fifi could slide off, I grabbed her and twisted her around so I was holding her like a mother holding a toddler on her hip.

She tried protesting, and complaining until we reached the third floor. Then she started laughing; the music stopped abruptly when I walked right past her door.

"Where are you taking me?"

"To show you something I think you need to know about. It's time you can disappear from everyone and everything. It's helped me tremendously over the years." I led her to the end of my room and set her down before taking her hand.

"Do you see anything out of place?" I guided her along the walls, waiting and hoping for her to see what I wanted her to see. She pulled away, closed her eyes, and ran her fingertips along the wall.

She opened her eyes, and looked at one spot in particular.

"This isn't a crack. It was put here." Her voice held lots of amazement.

"Yes, it was. I had secret passageways put in, and each room has its own replica inside these walls. If you look carefully, there's a tiny dot of black paint. That marks the entrance. On the other side, there are door knobs, and signs. The entire thing is soundproof, but you'll still be able to hear what's on the other side." Her eyes lit up.

"That's so cool! Does anyone else know?"

"Only my family; and they stay out." The look of gratitude she gave me felt undeserved. All I did was show her a door and basically give her a death sentence.

"You just gave me a freedom that I will never be thankful enough for. Thank you so much." She threw me off again, by giving me a huge hug. I hugged her back, stiffly due to confusion; but after a while, I began to notice that it was…nice. I relaxed against her.

She felt my tension disappear, and squeezed me softly before trying to pull away, but I wasn't going to let her. She made me feel like I was in heaven when I was around her. And I simply didn't want to let go.

She looked at me, and I knew she wanted to see the inside the secret tunnels and rooms.

I put my hand on her waist, opened the door, and led her inside.

_Fifi Francheska's Diary_

_I know his secret. He knows mine. But I'm torn between him and Shawn. He said I'd be different, and that Shawn would notice. But what could I tell him to keep him in the dark?_

_Will what I feel for them have to work itself out of the clouds and into the sunlight._

_I need answers to my questions._

_I'm afraid my choice will be the wrong one._

_I'm all alone._

_Literally._

_Guilty Secrets._


	11. Chapter 11

When I stepped into the secret room, I was immediately hit with the sweet fragrance of roses.

I looked around for the source, and found rose petals _everywhere. _I picked one up, only to have Devin take it and put it on my nose. I blew at it, and it landed on his shoulder. He smiled and I wondered what his laugh sounded like when he wasn't worrying about anything.

"This is my secret room, and personally, I like it better than my actual room."

I looked around, slightly nervous, but otherwise intrigued. The walls were made of some type of stone; Cherry Oak made up the woodwork and doors. I walked toward one door at random.

I opened it and walked into one of the biggest closets on the planet. Half was women's clothing, and the other was men's.

I was acutely aware that Devin was watching me with bright interest, so I was determined to ignore him. One particular dress caught my eye. It was silk and lace, smooth to the touch; even after a few centuries. I imagined myself in it; the silk would match my blue eyes. The only difference was that my eyes were dull and this silk was full of life.

Only then did I wonder why he had women's clothing in his closet. Was it because he liked crossdressing or was it because he had some sort of mate? But then again, all of these clothes were centuries old and looked like they hadn't been worn in that amount of time. Maybe he was still pining for her? Or waiting for her to come back? But then why was he so intimate with me? I knew what it cost him, the strength he used to not crush me like he could. The thought hurt me more than I was willing to admit.

I turned abruptly and walked away, not wanting to see the evidence of what obviously screamed out someone feminine in his live. But when Devin held out his hand, I still took it. I tried to convince myself that it was because I didn't want him to wonder why I wouldn't have when in reality I was trying to fool myself into not thinking I did it on impulse. Really I hadn't thought about taking his hand, it just happened. He showed me the rest of the house, still keenly watching my reactions; the last was conveniently the kitchen.

"It's late. Shawn will be home soon; you'd better start dinner." He winked and went back into the soundproof secrets. It left me to sit at a bar stool and to ponder what had happened between us and why I was so effected by the presence of women's clothing in his closet. I would just chalk it up to crossdressing but that wouldn't explain why they were all extremely old dresses nor would it explain the large vanity I happened to catch a glimpse of. Being a faded pink and old didn't exactly help my reasonings.

So I sat and stewed on it, wondering why I would even care if he had a woman in his life. Or why I couldn't seem to get it off my mind. And then my traitor logic started coming into play, telling me to just ask him and asking why I didn't do it earlier when the chance had been there. It wouldn't shut up and I felt like screaming.

An hour later, I had started pigs in a blanket and mini hot dogs.

Shortly after I started Shawn burst through the door, soaked to the bone even though he had only walked from the bus to the door. He started to talk, to try and cover up his wet appearance, but I cut him off. I knew him too well and I knew he was trying to distract me so I would leave and he could clean up his mess before I got back. It was a trick he used often on me before when we were younger, and I was determined to play a small game of my own.

"Don't even _think _about walking through this house the way you are. I put some extra clothes and a towel in the garage for you." He obeyed and came back out just as the food was finishing.

"I'll go get Devin." My head whirled and I jumped on the chance to play my little game of distraction. I was determined that he would clean up his mess and I didn't want to tell him to do it. I hated telling people to do things like that because it made me feel bossy and this was the perfect distraction. I got to go get Devin and he could clean up his mess quietly before I got back. A win-win in my mind.

"No! I've got to get something anyway so I'll get him. Plus I have to yell at him for getting the floors muddy earlier." He smiled and nodded his consent, clearly pleased he would be spared getting the verbal lashing for the muddy footprints he carelessly left on the floor.

I changed clothes quickly and looked for the tiny dot in Devin's room. I listened at the door knowing that I couldn't hear him even though he could hear me. I opened it quickly, trying to scare him. No dice.

"Muddy carpets? I cracked up when I heard that." His smile came easily but a practiced eye could tell that he clearly had to force it.

"It was the first thing that came to mind." We walked down in companionable silence. When we were in earshot of Shawn, he started the fake argument that both of us knew had to take place in order to keep up appearances.

"I most certainly did _not _get any type of mud on the carpet. I refuse to be held responsible for that."

"You did it because you were the only one that went outside." I walked into the kitchen, Devin hot on my heels, when I stopped dead in my tracks.

Shawn was kissing a girl.

_Fifi Francheska's Diary_

_What did I do wrong? He come he never said anything? I know I've forgiven him and all, but seriously. A warning would have been nice._

_I guess I'll hold the frustration and hurt in._

_Like always._

_I need a shrink._

_Guilty Secrets._


	12. Chapter 12

Devin cleared his throat loudly and the two quickly broke apart. She, at least, had the decency to look embarrassed. Shawn just looked at us like he was inbetween entitled to kissing her and being caught in the headlights like a deer.

"Dinner's done." I was extremely pleased to hear the tight, razor sharp edge to Devin's voice. It was the kind of tone that lets everyone know that the speaker isn't pleased at all by the occurance. And judging by his posture and expression, that would be accurate.

While we ate, the atmosphere grew more and more tense, if that was even possible. I couldn't hold in the tears that had started forming after the first five minutes any longer and I most definately couldn't take the stress I felt emanate from _everywhere._

I slammed my glass down and stormed into the next room, escaping to the hidden rooms and passageways through the living room. I sought refuge in Devin's bedroom, knowing that he'd try to follow me. I sat on his headboard, destracting my body from the depression and hurt on the effort to balance and remain seated. I was depressed, but that didn't mean I wanted to fall and hurt myself.

Devin walked in shortly after.

He didn't say anything, but he did offer silent comfort.

"Why didn't he say anything? I don't even know her name! I…I…" I couldn't talk anymore. I just sobbed and reached out with my mind.

_What did I ever do to him? Why didn't he tell me? Have I failed him?_

_No. You're the nicest person I've ever met. You could never do anything wrong._ I wasn't sure if what I heard was real or not, but it comforted me nonetheless. He pulled me off the headboard and onto the bed before sitting next to me. As my temper cooled off, I began to cry in earnest. I often cried at night, but never in front of anybody. It felt weird.

He noticed my awkwardness and just held me to his body. We stayed like this until the tears finally subsided and he kissed my hair. It was an unexpected comfort, an unplanned touch. We both knew that he probably crossed some line between friends and something more but neither of us wanted to admit it. I wasn't sure what the hell was going on with my own body and mind let alone his. And to be honest, I wasn't even sure if he knew what was going on inside his mind either.

I didn't move, though. It felt good to have someone hold me. I felt…free. He kissed my hair again and led me to my room. I thanked him as he walked out. I followed him in the passageway and heard him dismiss the girl. He was polite but firm and short with her. And he had every right to-after all, this was_ his_ house.

"Shawn, we need to talk." He sounded kinder now, less upset.

"Look, I know how she feels; I could see it in her eyes. I feel really bad now and I don't know how to fix it." Shawn did sound like he felt bad, but why wasn't he just coming to me instead? Why add the middle man? I assumed it was a guy thing and followed their voices to the den. After a moment or two, I chickened out and decided to take the wiser route.

I walked to the hidden kitchen before entering the one Shawn knew about and entered the den like I had just been looking for a place to sit down.

"Fifi, I'm so sorry. I didn't know how to tell you. I just…I panicked, and she wasn't supposed to come over tonight. She got her dates mixed up, she was supposed to come over next week. I actually told her that I had to fix things here before she could come over again." His voice was hurried, like he wanted to say too much in too little time. I stopped him by putting my hand in the air.

"Shawn, calm down. All I want to know is the basics."

"I met her at school; her name is Mary, and she was really nice to me. I asked around to see if she was a good person, and everyone said she was a perfect angel. A few missing assignments here and there, but that's it."

"Well, I'm happy for you. She can come over whenever she wants to, but I'd like for you to remember your studies and _NOTHING INAPPROPRIATE!" _I couldn't help the slight adversion I felt to what I was saying, yet I knew I would have to let him go sometime. Better have it out in the open now rather than later when he hides it.

"Yes, you're Highness." He was teasing me, that much was obvious and I smiled at him before he got up and walked to the stairs to get to his bedroom. Devin silently took my hand and led me to my own room, providing that silent comfort that he was so good at giving me.

_Devin McNeilis's Diary_

_The next time that kid wears his pants halfway down his ass, I'll strangle him._

_Or I'll just kick his ass._

_What? It's open and free game._

_Guilty Secrets._


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning, I woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon. Thinking it was Devin trying to be nice I dressed slowly and walked downstairs half asleep. I stopped at the sight I saw.

Mary was cooking in my kitchen.

"Hi." She seemed really nervous and timid, as well she should be. "I know we got off to a really bad start last night, but I wanted to make it up to you. Shawn said it was okay, and he let me in this morning. He's getting dressed right now." I shook my head slightly to get my brain and mouth to work together.

"You can relax. I'm not going to kick you out, and I'm not banning Shawn from seeing you. I was taken by surprise yesterday and I'm sorry for the childish way I acted. Just don't let me catch you two doing that ever again." I winked and we laughed. That's right about when Shawn walked in.

"Well damn Shawn. You have the worst timing."

"Why? What did I do?" His eyes went wide in mock fear, and I shook my head.

"Well, I was _going _to gush with Mary, but you walked in."

"Gee, I thought I was in trouble. I'll just take my breakfast and go then."

"Shake a leg!" The funny thing about Shawn is that he got a twisted sense of humor from living with our parents, so now he takes everything to the literal. We laughed at the sight of Shawn trying to balance his food, and shake his right leg while he escaped Girl Avenue.

"So who were you going to gush about?"

"Devin."

"The other guy? OMG, I know that I'm taken, but he is H-O-T, hot!" Just then, Devin walked in.

"Do all guys have a terrible sense of timing?" I kept it light and teasing but with just a hint of annoyance. Just enough that he got the hint and she didn't.

"Apparently. I'll go join Shawn then."

"Get outta here, you overgrown house owner." He left quickly, clearly not wanting to be caught off guard by me later on in the day. As soon as I was sure he was out of hearing range I started again. "Well, I need tips on how to pick him up."

"Why would you need pick up tips? You have the body to lure them in, and the personality to seal the deal." I hung my head.

"I've never had a boyfriend before and I didn't like to flirt in school, I liked to study more." I was surprised that her eyes stayed in their sockets.

"Wow. Well, the best advise I can give you is to flutter your eyelashes and use subtle hints. You both like to read, so I guess you could read some more risqué books than the ones I'm assuming you read now."

Apparently Devin had worse timing than Shawn.

"Did I interrupt something?" I took his empty plate while he and Mary talked about what it was like to date Shawn. After awhile I got restless so I excused myself and left for the library to follow her advice.

I walked around the vast shelves for a book that fit the bill. Eventually, I found one that looked like I would find interesting so I sat down to read it. I had just gotten to the midway mark when Devin walked in through the secret door.

He glanced at the book, and did a double take.

"_What _are you reading?"

"A book." He rolled his eyes. "Something wrong?"

"No, no." He hesitated and rephrased his question. "What in the _hell _are reading?"

"I just told you…a book." He hit the heel of his hand against his forehead.

"Whatever." He walked around to read over my shoulder to read the part I was at. I closed the book just to piss him off. "Do you mind?"

"I mind very little. I just want to know why you were trying to read over my shoulder."

"Because I'm curious. I've read that book before, and it's not the most innocent book in the world." He thought for a moment. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did, but you may ask one more."

"Why do you read those books?"

"I don't have the potential to have a relationship like this, so I read about them instead."

"Since when do you not have the potential for a relationship?"

"Since forever." I rolled my eyes. "Duh."

"Well stop thinking that, because it's the farthest thing from the truth that I've ever heard."

"Well, that's none of your concern anyway."

"The hell it's not." I heard a beeping noise coming from the computer. He walked over to see what it was and his face lit up.

"Yes! My family met up in Italy, and they unanimously decided to come home!" I smiled, suddenly anxious to meet his parents.

I had to inject fake enthusiasm into my voice. "I can't wait!"

_Esme Cullen_

_We found another daughter and son to add to our family. They created a conscious by themselves, but it's harder for the boy than it is for the girl. The only reason he agreed was because he got to feed on the occasional bear._

_I hope Edward doesn't mind._

_Oh well._

_Guilty Secrets._


	14. Chapter 14

"When are they coming?" She sounded tired but I paid it no mind.

"They'll be here in the morning." She giggled. "What's so funny?"

"The fact that I'm worried about if they'll like me or not." I smiled. It was kind of amusing to think that she was worried about a group of vampires liking her or not rather than worrying about if they'll eat her or not.,

"That is funny, especially since they'll adore you." I could tell that she was about to argue so I walked over to her slowly, silencing her with my intense gaze.

She looked up at me; I saw so many hidden secrets in the depths of her sappire blue eyes that I wanted to spend forever with her, just to find out every single one of them. I tried to decipher their secrets, to discover the hidden thoughts and forbidden desires there. Her mind was safe from me, and I wasn't used to being thrown off like this. I couldn't hear her unless she wanted me to-and even then I could only hear what she wanted me to. If I had learned anything about her, she wouldn't spill her secrets willingly.

But I saw what I saw and if my eyes weren't betraying me I saw hurt and an old sense of caution. It was the kind of caution that was learned quickly at a very young age. Either she grew up in a bad place or she was raised by the anal type of paranoid parents. I couldn't help it, but I felt like she was raised in a very very bad place.

With that thought I continued to stare into her eyes, no longer to try to decode her thoughts. I simply liked looking into them. Instead of focusing on the thoughts behind the eyes, I just focused on the eyes. The color was a blue so pure and sparkling I was caught within it. Never had I seen such a shade of blue in my existance and I knew I would never find it again anywhere else.

And she looked right back.

I felt myself move to sit next her on the love seat, still lost in her jewel-like eyes. My hand moved on its own accord and brushed across her hair. My eyes followed the movements, intrigued by what this hand was doing. It caressed her golden hair and I loved the way the silky strands flowed over my skin. I watched my hand move from her hair to her face and it didn't take long for it to caress her cheek.

Just as she was leaning into my hand, the stupid cell phone I had on me rang. Reluctantly, I looked at the caller ID. Alice had the worst, yet best, timing in the world.

"What do you want?"

"Good to hear you too. I just thought you might like to know that when she finds out about your fake name, it won't fly with her very well. Better to get it over with sooner." I sighed.

"Thanks for the warning."

"You're welcome. Oh, and…" I hung up on her. She'd forgive me later and I didn't want to hear it. I knew that I had to tell Fifi who I really was. She deserved to know. She _needed_ to know.

She still sat there, just the exactly the way I left her.

"I have something to tell you."

"Shoot."

"My name really isn't McNeilis. My first name isn't even Devin."

"So? What's your real name then?" I couldn't see any emotion in her eyes. Those eyes that had been so open before were now solid walls that I couldn't penetrate.

"My real name is Cullen. Edward Cullen."

_Edward Cullen's Diary_

_Why isn't she leaving? Why is she still here? What could possibly keep her here? I've lied to her, decieved her, and stalked her. I've done several things she shouldn't be forgiving me for and yet here she stands, forgiving me. _

_I don't understand._

_Guilty Secrets._


	15. Chapter 15

Her breathing and heartbeat stayed steady; her eyes still held all the secrets in the world. She seemed perfectly fine to me, yet I knew that she had to be reacting inside...I just didn't know how she was taking it. She took great precautions to make sure that I didn't see what was going on behind her eyes.

Although, with the way her heartbeat never strayed from it's original beat and from the way she never showed any other emotion than a calm indifference told me that there must be something inside of her that was reacting much more than she was letting on. I knew she was accomplished in hiding what she really felt, I had seen it before. When I tracked her I saw how she would smile and lie to her brother and then cry herself to sleep during the day. I saw the subtle signs of her betrayals to herself and her brother. I knew what she went out to do late at night to settle the debts still owed by her parents.

I knew, and I only saw that because she hadn't known I was watching.

But now that she knows I'm watching her she'll be extra careful not to let me see her emotions. I don't know how I knew, I just knew. I knew that keeping all her emotions in would eventually chose her fate for her but I didn't have the heart to tell her that in order to remain human she needed to show her emotions more often than she was. Hell, if what I heard was right, she never showed a genuine emotion unless it was a rare moment when she was sleeping deeply-which wasn't often.

Words would have broken the spell that was affecting us, so I didn't say anything. I didn't want to break the stillness, the inexplicable reason that we were both silent and staring at each other. I was waiting for her to speak and she didn't say a thing.

We were content to remain still and silent. I had centuries of practice with being patient and she clearly didn't want to be the first to speak and I knew that she had the determination to not say anything first if she didn't want to. She was just stubborn like that. A respectable quality, one that could end up saving her life.

After a few hours of staring at each other her eyelids began to fall. I pulled her to me and she was instantly asleep. I felt bad about having her sleep against my cold, unliving flesh but I also couldn't help the feeling of belonging right there in that moment. I just couldn't shake the feeling that she belonged against me. Her warm, soft body fit into mine like it was supposed to be there. My breathing slowed to match hers without my having to think about it.

I don't know how long I sat there, reveling in my thoughts; but apparently it was long enough for the clock to strike the hour of nine at night. It woke up her up and she slowly stretched like a cat would before looking up at me.

I could get used to this.

"How long was I out?" Her voice was scratchy with sleep and I longed to hear it every day I could. I made it my ultimate goal to make sure I never let her know I felt like that. I had the feeling that wouldn't work out too well, but goals are ment to aim high, aren't they?

"Long enough for me to decide that I like being with you; even when you're asleep." I don't know why I said that and I started inwardly scolding myself until I saw her smile at me as she stood.

"Goodnight." The door to the public library closed as her soft voice floated back to me.

"Goodnight my darling." She never heard my response, or so I thought.

_Where in the hell did that come from? Darling? What is she doing_ _to me? _She seemed to like leaving me completely baffled at myself and my emotions and her reactions to me.

_Mary Talhöse's Diary_

_Shawn seems pretty serious about us. He's taking it slow, wants to get to know me, and several other things._

_And what's he doing at the Cullen Mansion? *sneer*_

_But I did like his sister. She's innocent enough…although her scent is one that I've never smelled before. Must be from living at that mansion._

_Maybe I should tell Shawn my true identity._

_Hmm…._

_All I know for sure, is that those pants seriously need a belt._

_Pronto._

_Guilty Secrets._


	16. Chapter 16

I came home from school to find both the kitchen and the library void of people, so I went to the den. It was there that I plopped my butt down on the recliner to do my homework…until I fell asleep.

I didn't have any dreams, at least none that I can remember. All I do remember is being perfectly at peace with myself and the world in darkness and comfort. That's about when I woke up.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"I'm up! I'M UP!" And I was up, litterally. The banging my sister had been making was from a wooden spoon on a metal pot and it had made me jump clear out of my skin and onto the floor. As I was shouting over the abysmall noise I stood.

"Then come on Shawn, dinner's done." She sounded perfectly chipper, as if she hadn't been banging the hell out of a pot just mere seconds ago. I shook my head at her antics, but that was just her. One moment she could be extremely loud and annoyingly persistant and the next she sounds like she just walked out of the eighteenth century.

"Fifi, has anyone told you that your highly obnoxious?" My voice was teasing, heavy with sarcasm so I wouldn't hurt her feelings but still annoyed all the same.

"A number of people, a number of times, yes." I smiled, knowing that she was referring to me and all the times in the past that we have had this same exact conversation. Mostly it was when I had to go to school or if I fell asleep in the middle of doing homework or something similar to that.

"Well, add one to that list."

"Will do." I walked straight into Mary at that point, making another conversation topic with my sister impossible. I just couldn't help it, she was so pretty and perfect. Her dark hair flowed flawlessly over her shoulders in soft waves and her eyes were a soft brownish color, her skin perfectly tanned. This was someone that I felt I could spend a long time with, physically.

I wasn't interested in for life or for the mind. I wanted someone who looked pretty just because I wanted to. And most of the girls at school loved me already, I can have whoever I want. At first I only picked her because she took my breath away when I first saw her but then I got to know her a bit and she's got a good personality. Bubbly and cute. I like that in friends, but this one I wanted to bang. Although Fifi would never hear me say that ever.

After a quick meal of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, I joined Mary in the living room. She had finished before I had and so she had beaten me here.

"Shawn, we have to talk." The way her voice sounded most would have assumed an immediate break up. But my logic told me otherwise. She wouldn't have tried to get along with my sister if she was just going to break up with me, right?

"Okay. What about?" She took a deep breath and I forced myself to remain calm.

"Shawn, I'm not who I say I am." Well that was unexpected. I thought she would have said something like she had HIV or cancer or she was moving. I didn't realize she wanted to tell me that she was really some gothic emotional depressed creature inside.

"Then who are you?"

"My name isn't Mary Talhöse." I struggled to breathe. This wasn't what I had mentally prepared myself for at all.

"Then what _is_ your name?"

"It's…I'm so sorry Shawn!" She completely broke down, and I hated to see her cry. It was heartbreaking, like watching someone kick a puppy. I just couldn't find it in me to be mad at her.

I held her, just trying to make us both feel a little better. It didn't work for either of us, but she soon stopped the waterworks.

"It's okay, just tell me the truth from now on. You can trust me." She nodded, sniffling a little and I wiped her face so there wasn't anymore evidence of her sobbing.

"Yeah, okay. Here it goes.

"A few years ago I moved here under a false name to protect myself. The only people who know who I really am, are the McNeilis'.

"My real name is actually…Bella Swan."

_Edward Cullen's Diary_

_She told him, now what else could possibly go wrong? I've got to talk to her before my parents show up. And she's got no choice now but to tell Shawn what she really is._

_Wow. Fifi's life is really going down the drain. Especially since what she just told me will effect the outcome of this whole mess dramatically._

_Well, shit._

_This sucks._

_But then again, Life was never fair._

_Guilty Secrets._


	17. Chapter 17

"So your actual name is Bella Swan?" She nodded. I let the realization hit, and when it did all hell broke loose.

Literally.

No sooner had I realized that my girlfriend was hiding her real identity from me, I head something shatter. What it was, I had no idea, but I pitied whatever it was. I wouldn't enjoy being dropped very much, so why should a vase or glass?

For a few moments, there was silence; and then, nothing. It was an eerie silence, the kind that presses upon your ears until you actually start hearing things within the silence. The kind of silence that, after a few moments, was no longer silent. It unsettled me and clearly it upset her as well for she looked slightly uneasy. This was the first time I ever saw a moment of doubt in her face...a moment of fear.

I slowly stood up, wondering if I imagined the noise. I quickly threw those doubts away, because there wasn't any other explination for the way that Bella looked now. She didn't move until I did, and when she did it was only to follow me to the kitchen. I was determined to find out what had happened if it killed me.

"Did you hear that crash come from in here?" I turned to Bella uncertainly, as if I expected she wouldn't answer. In reality, I wasn't sure what she would do.

"I thought so." Her voice was uncertain. It reminded me of a child that had already committed itself to a lie and after giving away a part of it was unsure whether to keep the rest up for appearances or if the rest was too much to add to the honesty shown earlier.

"Hey, sis! You in here?" No answer. "Fifi! Devin! Where are you guys?" My voice was now tinged with a slight edge of fear. I didn't know what I would do if my sister had been taken hostage or if anyone were to hurt her.

Still no answer.

After a few moment's reflection, I realized I wasn't afraid. I knew that Fifi could take care of herself, so I walked back to the den with Bella right behind me. When we sat down, it was on the same couch but on opposite ends. Her side was pressed into the arm to her left and my right was beginning to ache at the pressure pushing into my ribs. I wasn't sure how, but somehow I knew that she wasn't telling me everything.

An hour or so later, Devin walked in with a purpose.

"Bella, I need to talk to you before you leave." He was short with his message and left no room for argument. He sounded almost stern with her and I saw a flash of defiance before it smoldered away into the expression of someone that knew they couldn't get around what was going to happen. She had accepted it in the span of a few breif moments. It was different-extremely different-from the Mary I knew from school. Mary was defiant to the last breath. Bella was submissive and gave up quickly. I wasn't sure I liked Bella as much as I had liked Mary.

"Okay." I watched her walk off with him, seething that he knew her name already. And she didn't tell him when she had gotten here. Questions flew through my mind. What was going on? Was I missing something? Of course I was missing something, but what exactly was I missing? When would I find out? Did Fifi know?

I let the questions fly around my head, creating a small vortex of thoughts and emotions inside my skull.

_Alice Cullen's Diary_

_It feels weird, not being with Edward in the mansion we call home. At least he's not lonely._

_No, he's anything but lonely. He has that girl and her younger brother._

_On the bright side, I'll be home soon!_

_And then I can have a new friend!_

_But what will he do about his new siblings? He can't blame me for not telling him, he hung up on me before I could say anything. And he can't complain, I didn't tell anyone here about the two people that moved in with him. That's got to count for something. Right?_

_Oh shit._

_Guilty Secrets._


	18. Chapter 18

'Devin' and I walked into the living room. I knew what was coming, but I didn't want to have to deal with it. Not yet, anyway.

The on thing that could truely piss me off was Edward Cullen. Or should I say 'Devin McNeilis'?

"Bella, you have to tell him." He sounded disappointed in me and I felt the need to stand up for myself. It was the most defiant I had ever felt around him and I was determined to defend my reasoning.

"I can't! Do you know what that would do to his mental health? It's not good for him." I waited for the inevitable guilt trip he'd try to send me on and I was determined not to fall for it this time. It was high time I went against him and did what I thought was right. I didn't care that he had a few decades over my age...well much more than that but that hardly mattered in my mind. I knew people inside and out and I knew that this would hurt him more than help him in the long run. I needed to keep this a secret.

"So, what you're saying is that it wouldn't be healthy for you to tell him the truth; but it _would_ be healthy for him to see you change forms right in front of his face when he _least_ expects it? You forget, I can read minds Bella. I know your reasons and you're dead wrong. You think you know him but you don't. I don't fully understand him, and I have a feeling it's because he's related to one of the most complex humans I've ever met. He's not like other people, trust me. I can read his mind and I still have trouble understanding him at times. He needs to know before you go and do something stupid. You were smart enough to know that he needed to know your real name, so are you smart enough to realize you need to tell him what you are if you plan on sticking around?"

The more I thought about it, the more I started to see the truth in his words. He could see the mental conflict in my eyes, of that I was sure. But slowly, very slowly, my logic started to kick in and the guilt trip started to take effect.

I couldn't say anything. He was right. As usual.

"But what will he think of me? What if he tells?"

"He'll react better if you actually tell him. And he won't say anything; who would believe him? He's smart enough to know that if he said anything, someone would eventually send him to the nut house. Besides, he has his sister to help him stay sane and logical."

After some serious persuading on Edward's part, I finally gave into his twisted way of seeing things. And the one major reason they were twisted to me was because they actually made sense and all of his arguments were able to logically strike down mine.

I walked into the den, slightly defeated, finding Shawn right where I left him. I took a deep breath, internally cursing my rapidly speeding heart rate, and walked forward. I stopped a few feet in front of him and he looked up at me curiously.

"Shawn, there's more to what I told you earlier."

"I'm listening." He saw my rapidly forming tears, and walked to me. Holding me in his arms, he whispered, "I'll always be here; no matter what's going on in your life." I saw the flash of apprehension in his eyes earlier when I told him there was more and I suddenly didn't want to tell him for completely different reason. Before was purely selfish-I didn't want him walking away and I didn't want anyone to know my secret. But now, I didn't want to taint his perfect world. I didn't want to be the one to shatter the glass walls that surrounded his wonderful life. I wanted to be in his life, to be in the enclosed space. And in order to do that I needed to break the glass and hope he forgives me for the damage I'll inflict by doing it. It was either to walk away from him right now and end this relationship, or tell him the truth and hope he lets me stay.

I took a deep breath; I had to do this. I _had _to, no matter the consequences. My secrets buzzed around in my mind, like awful reminders of what I've hidden from myself; and everyone else. I had to let _someone _know.

I pulled away from Shawn, and let the tears flow unchecked.

"Shawn, everything you know about myths and fairy tales; it's all wrong. But most of it is based on a small inkling of truth." His brow furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

"When you hear the word 'myth' what do you think of?"

"I think of werewolves, vampires, fairies, and Cinderella. Why?"

"Well, I'm not so sure about Cinderella, but the other three are commonly misled.

"There are such things as werewolves, vampires, and even fairies. They're just very different from the myths in some aspects. In others, they're almost identical."

"How would you know this?" He looked impassive, like he wanted to scoff but he also wanted to hear me out and remain open minded. For that I was grateful.

"Well, I think you have a right to know…I'm a werewolf." I held my breath waiting for him to say something.

_Fifi Francheska's Diary_

_So, Edward just told me about who and what Bella is. I wasn't really prepared for that one, but I recovered quickly enough. Edward didn't notice my moment of panic. And if he did, it wasn't long enough for him to comment on it._

_Well, I wonder how Shawn will take this because if Bella tells him about werewolves, then she's got to tell him about vampires._

_No, I think me and Edward will have to take care of the vampire information. She didn't look like she was going to be telling him anything he didn't need to know anytime soon. For now our secret was safe._

_I just wish I could've had more time to keep it to myself though._

_But there is NO WAY on this planet that he's going to find out about the private rooms and passageways. I like those way to much to give them up._

_Guilty Secrets._


	19. Chapter 19

I walked into the library, and stumbled over a stack of books. Oops._That's a real Fifi-like thing to do. Way to go, self. Just had to trip on something else, didn't you? Real graceful._

I was re-stacking them when I heard a stealthy footstep. I discreetly picked up a heavy volume, and threw it at such a blinding speed and surprising ease I surprised myself.

"Shit, Fifi, what's wrong with you?" I gasped as I registered the person standing at the doorway.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry Edward! I usually never hear you coming, I don't know why I heard you that time." He laughed heartily.

"It's okay. You acted on instinct." He sobered, but slower than he usually does. "By the by, I'm going to tell Bella…"

"Who's Bella?"

"Bella Swan is Mary Talhöse."

"Oh." I wasn't really surprised to find that someone else had a fake name. It seemed to follow me, first with the people my parents used to hang out with and now with both Edward and Bella posing under fake names.

"Well I'm going to tell her to tell Shawn that she's a werewolf." _I though she smelled weird. Wait, they're real? Since when are they real? But then again, vampires are real so why am I surprised about this? _After another moment of thought I decided that I was going to settle for mildly surprised and ask for details later on.

"So, you have to tell him about vampires, right?" I wasn't sure I wanted him to know, but I knew it would be better for him if he did. It would be better if he didn't question things he shouldn't be questioning in school around other people. At least here he could be distracted and get answers as soon as he had a question. He wouldn't be able to focus on his studies otherwise.

"Wrong. _You _have to tell him." His voice was stern and unmoving. He wasn't going to let me off the hook this time, that much I could tell.

"But why can't you tell him?" The shock at being told so blatently that I had to do something left my voice more surprised than offended. And, to be honest, I could see the logic and reasoning behind it. He'd trust me more than anyone else at the moment, especially after being told he kissed a dog.

"Because he'll take it better if you tell him rather than me. Plus, you can tell him all about yourself as well, if you wished. I'm sure that will end up the subject of a conversation sooner or later, and you might as well get it over with now. Trust me; he would want to hear this stuff from you rather than from me. And I think I scare him a little bit."

Reluctantly I agreed.

We walked into the den just in time to see Shawn tell Bella that it was okay.

Time to break up this scene before my mind was scared with rated R content. I didn't know about Edward, but the one thing that would not be good for me seeing is that kind of thing when my brother is involved. It wouldn't end well for my sanity or her pretty little face. Cutting off this chain of thought, I cleared my throat to announce my presence.

"Shawn? I have something to tell you."

"At this point very little could take me by surprise." I took that as the okay to tell him. I just hoped he didn't hate me or Edward for what I was about to reveal. Even though I know he couldn't hurt Edward, I was still worried that this would get physical.

Shawn would call it 'going psychic ninja on his ass' or something along those lines.

"First, Devin's real name is Edward Cullen, and his family is coming here at ten today." At this point Mary excused herself and told him she needed to go and do some chores at her house. More like she didn't want to be caught here by the rest of the Cullen Coven.

"First. That's not all…is it?" He seemed okay with Edward's family showing up later in the morning but I could tell he was cautious about what I was going to say.

"No, that isn't all. He's also a vampire; but a good one! And...and you should know about me." I explained everything about me that was happening physically. But there was no way he'd get any emotions I was feeling out of me.

"Well, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

I didn't want Edward here to hear the next part so I used every resource I had to persuade him to leave the room and to not eavesdrop. He left with his shoulders hunched in defeat after a bit of my persistance.

_Shawn Francheska's Diary_

_Well, it's not like I was blind. __I knew what was going on, but I didn't comment because it was never the right time. Until she told me everything._

_Well, don't blame me. She brought it up, and I knew that I'd never get another chance like this ever again. It wasn't a fair time to mention it, but it was then or never._

_I wonder if I should mention it again…._

_Better nor. Fifi's a nice gal and all, but she can be a total bitch when you mention the same things to her more than once; especially when she doesn't want to talk about it._

_And I hadn't been quiet about it lately._

_Actually, I had been quite a piece of shit for asking all the time._

_I'll lay off the questions for the next couple of days._

_Guilty Secrets._


	20. Chapter 20

"If neither me nor Edward were involved, what would you pick? Be honest Fifi."

"I'd pick vampire so I could get back at all the people who ever threatened you." I was sure that if neither one of them were here that I would track down all of the idiots that ever threatened my brother. But it wasn't that easy to choose because I knew that he wouldn't want me to turn savage, no matter how bad some people deserved it.

"But when you factor us in, what would you do?" His voice was soft, comforting. It was the voice he used when he could tell I was overwhelmed and needed someone to tell me it would all be okay in the end.

"I don't know!" And with that proclamation, I broke down. "Edward has nothing to do with this decision other than the fact that I'd be dead without him; and I'll probably be dead anyway, but this way I at least have a chance. I want to live life differently, and I don't want to be weak, but I don't want to leave you!"

"You won't leave me, and if you do, I understand. I'll be safe, I have Bella." I couldn't believe the words I was hearing. Was my brother really so willing to lean on someone else for protection when he told me for years that he could take care of himself? Was he really going to admit that there's just some things that he can't protect himself from? And yet...for that to be me, for the one thing that he was admitting he couldn't protect himself from being me...it hurt me. And I didn't want that to be the case, yet I wanted to be the very best I could be for him.

"And what if Bella leaves you? What will you do then, huh? You'll be alone and I can't allow that. I vowed when you were born that I would not let you ever be alone. I swore it on the Bible, Shawn! I can't just throw that away! It just isn't right. I can't do it."

"This isn't about me. Things have changed since we came here. We've changed in ways that we could never imagine. A year ago I wouldn't have ever imagined this type of thing happening. I only dreamt of us both being happy, with the guarantee of love and happiness for the rest of our lives. Think about it; we never have to worry about money ever again. We'll always have food on our table. You can donate hundreds of dollars rather than a few cents. It's what we've always wanted, and you're considering throwing it all away for a promise you made to yourself. That's silly."

"Well, human nature is flawed." I hated to admit it, but he was right. I always wanted to help the people that were in situations like ours and worse. I had always donated as much as I could to help but it never seemed like very much in comparission to the others around me. I would donate a dime when others could give ten dollars and I always wanted to be the one to donate more. I just couldn't live with myself knowing that there are other kids out there just like us who didn't have any help. And for me to just take that privilage, to take the opportunity to help them beyond my wildest dreams and throw it away just so I could keep a personal promise...It was mind boggling.

"I know that, but humans are often making stupid decisions. Don't follow your pride, follow your heart. That's the best advice I can give you, but don't over think it. That's the worst thing you could do right now." He got up and left me standing by the window that I had drifted towards during the conversation.

I walked to Edward's room through the hidden corridors, seeking his help and the quiet peace that only being alone could give me.

"Fifi, what are you doing here?"

"Are you mad that I'm here?" My voice was unsure, quiet. I was sure what I wanted to do and I needed someone to tell me I made the right choice. I turned to Shawn for comfort and help during the time I made my decision, now I just needed to be told I was right for chosing the way I did.

"I'm ecstatic actually, but that's besides the point. This is my room, won't your brother tear my throat out?" I couldn't help the small smile that formed. He really would try to kill him if he knew I was in another man's room unattended.

"That's besides the point, and he doesn't know. I've made my choice." His face and posture immediately tensed; but he was still gentle as he lifted me onto his bed next to him.

"Tell me." I didn't say anything, but I leaned into his embrace. I needed the extra support.

Eventually, my knees gave way to the information that my heart told me. I had been trying to avoid admitting, but I just couldn't. Not to myself, not to anyone. It was frightening, and I didn't want to have to live with this. Indecision crowded my mind, but I was sure of two things.

I chose the path of vampire.

The other will remain nameless.

_Alice Cullen's Diary_

_Oh. My. Gosh. She has no sense of style. At least, from what I can see. Maybe she'll surprise me._

_I have to take her on a Surprise Shopping Spree!_

_Even if Edward told me not to._

_I just won't tell him._

_Guilty Secrets._


	21. Chapter 21

Did someone turn on the faucet? Oh, no. She's crying. _What? Why is she crying? Way to go for sensitivity, Edward._

I voiced my question, uncertain of how she would respond.

"I don't know." When she said this, the tear flow stopped, and I wiped all traces of the liquid off her face. I never noticed how my fingers lingered on her skin, so soft and yet unyeilding under my touch. I didn't notice how the pale creamy color looked next to my stark white fingertips. I didn't notice it then, but I would notice it later when I would reminisce on this moment.

"So...what was your choice?" My voice was soft and forgiving, I wasn't trying to scare her away but pull her in. I wanted her to trust me and to tell me what had bothered her so much. In that moment I felt more human than I had in quite a long time.

"I'm staying with your family…forever." My heart swelled with happiness for reasons that I can't, and won't explain. _Damn. What is this girl doing_ _to me?_ I don't know and I don't think I want to. I had once sworn my heart to someone else, and I wasn't willing to give away my heart easily again. It still belonged to another who left me long ago.

"You do know that you'll go through excruciating pain, don't you? About seven to eight day's worth, minimum." I didn't understand why I was trying to push her away from her choice, and yet I couldn't explain the happiness I felt when she told me that she would be staying alive as a vampire.

"I don't care." I nodded, reluctant to show any emotions. The last thing she needed to see was confusion.

"Well, should we go and greet my family?"

"Sure." Her voice sounded confident but her slightly stiff posture betrayed her true nervousness as we walked downstairs to find my family. We walked into the kitchen just as the rest of my family did.

Carlisle was the first to greet me, and I'm not sure how I feel about him being the first to speak. Especially since Alice was there. It put me slightly on edge considering the fact that Alice was always the first to hug me.

"Hey dude! We missed ya!" I processed what he just said as I hugged him.

"Did you seriously just call me _Dude?_"

"Yuparoonies!" I looked around.

"Okay, who has brainwashed Carlisle?"

"No one. I just wanted to see what you would do. Call it an experiment." He paused. "I'm _trying _to get down with the dogs and your getting all up in my grill. Chill man!"

"It's not working for you. Sorry." I had to bite back a laugh when I saw him pose a ridiculous stance.

"That's okay. I knew it would make me look foolish…which is exactly why I did it." That's about when I noticed the others that I had never seen before.

"Looks like there are introductions to do on _both _parts." I nodded to Carlisle so he knew that he could start.

"This is Rosalie and Emmett. They've been living off animal blood their whole lives with only a few slips here and there; and they're a few years younger than you." I nodded, clearly intrigued by them and wanting to know more but I reserved my questions for later.

For now it was my turn to do the introductions.

"Fifi, this is Carlisle, Esmê, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett. Guys this is Fifi Francheska. Her brother is somewhere in this place…Where _did_ he go?" She shrugged.

"He'll show up when I start dinner; which I'm not hungry for."

Carlisle eyed me. _You found one?_

I nodded just enough that he could see, but she wouldn't notice the slight movement of my head.

_Carlisle Cullen's Diary_

_This is so interesting! I never really expected to meet one of her kind, yet now I'm living with one/_

_There powers are legendary, I wonder which one's she'll have?_

_Well, I guess I just have to wait to find out._

_Guilty Secrets._


End file.
